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take a look back, take a step forward — pt. 1

I actually wrote this blog post a couple weeks ago, but I was too lazy to edit it until now. It’s actually way too long, so I’m breaking it into three parts. I know most of you probably won’t bother reading it because of it being so long, but it’ll be a good reminder for myself when the time comes to take a look back.

School is already a couple weeks in, and summer already seems like a distant memory. Nonetheless, it is necessary to take a look back at this amazing summer. God has revealed so much to me in this past summer. I declare, here, that it was all Him above. Looking back to last May, I was in a pickle; I was burnt out from school and I still had no summer work. I placed utmost importance in having a solid resume for corporate America. But, due to being so burnt out, all motivation to continue searching was gone. I had applied to far too many places. My only hope was for one to stick. I did not wait on the Lord, but instead attempted to do everything on my own. From personal experience, once God is replaced, success becomes very temporary and trivial. (Yes, you can get all technical with me and ask what my definition of success is, but the point being is that without God’s approval and guidance situations become vain.) Lingering in my mind was the fear that I would end up going home for the summer and return in the fall with nothing to show for. The internship market is extremely competitive, and I had been left empty handed the previous two summers. This leads to the weekend I was prepared to leave New York for home.

All hope was lost, but then two emails appeared in my inbox. Both were from prospective internships. One I had applied for in January; I had been looking for a spring internship. The other I had applied for the previous week in an act of desperation. Instead of heading home as planned , I was preparing for two interviews. From a place of having nothing, I suddenly had two opportunities. To make a long story short, both interviews were successful. This created a new challenge: Which internship would I take? One was for a law firm located in the Empire State Building (Spending a summer in the most famous building in the world was appealing enough). It could also open a potential door into the field of law. The other was for an indie film production. Entertainment was what I always wanted to pursue, but it was a small project. Me, being the over-analyzer became frightened at the prospect of making the wrong decision. Both options had the potential of having a drastic impact on my future. Which one was the right one?

As many of you know, I went ahead with the film. Today, I can look back and say that it was the right decision. I was quickly promoted, lost my intern (or PA) status, and became the DIT (digital imaging technician) on set. Don’t worry; it isn’t quite as glorious as it sounds. Work was hard, crazy hard: 12-13 hours a day, 6 days a week, with a ridiculous commute to and fro. But, still I was able to wake up each morning and head to work. God had been working without me ever having realized thus. When I had no job, he provided me with options. When I had to choose, he pointed me in the right direction. Because of the years of “failure”, I was able to appreciate and learn from this opportunity. From the networks I acquired on this project, I was asked to join multiple future projects.

God is just that amazing. I can now see that he has a plan for me always. Even when I can’t see a lit path, it is out there. Persevere, friends, God is working!